Breaking news......I have managed to cram a treadmill into my bedroom. Since not much (or any) exercise is done in my bedroom anymore, I decided to change that. I can now run away. I just won't get very far. Cougar Boy at work talks about how much he loves to run on his treadmill, it's like therapy for him. After I drift off and imagine him running, sweaty and hot, six pack abs glistening, I think "maybe that's what I should do...run off some frustration". Today is day one of treadmill, so far I haven't gotten on it, but I have big plans.
Right now I weight 186. So does Cougar Boy. He's 6' 4".....I am not. I want to weight 150. Only 36 pounds to go.
All the pretend relationships are still going strong. It is just the real ones that I have problems with. As soon as I finally get up the courage to tell Husband that I am not quite happy (or at all happy), he steps it up and does the fifty things I have asked him to do for over a month now. We even sat on the couch the other night together and laughed. It felt good, but had been a really long time. I think laughing is very important (and I hear it burns calories!). I know that we are VERY different, but I know at one point we had some things in common. I just have no idea what they were!
Is that going to be a key to happiness? Remembering what began our relationship, or doing what it takes to end it? Who knows. I know I don't. I know that kids change the dynamics of a relationship, so that just confuses me even more. My goal is to screw Boy Child and Girl Child up as little as possible.
For now, I will work on getting on the treadmill. And eating less. And solving my marital issues. And not screwing up the kids. And try to take time to laugh more.
ummmm.....yeah....okay, I hate to be the one to break this to you, but the reason you can't come up with so many things in common with the hubby....because there aren't that many. As much as I like your hubby, I have been saying "WTF?!" since the day y'all married. And since that day it's been chalked up to that low self esteem thing of yours. You settled. You got two awesome kids out of it, but you settled. And you don't have to stay settled unless you want to.
ReplyDeleteI think I stepped it up a notch in the "not settling" department when it comes to pretend relationships...baby steps, baby steps! lol I am working on the self-esteem thing...just yesterday I told BFF that I thought I was hilarious and expect to make the best seller list one day...that, my friend, was CONFIDENCE! And damn, it felt GOOD!
ReplyDeleteLOL I know you have confidence. Don't you know it takes confidence to handle an entourage? ;) And I've seen you do it. So you have it in you!!!!
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