Today has been the kind of day that makes me feel confident that I am bipolar. I have no idea how I can go from happy and giggly to sad and disappointed in a matter of 2 seconds. And for no apparent reason. What the crap??
I have been running (yes, I said RUNNING!) on the treadmill. It is invigorating and therapeutic. I put my MP3 player in, tune the world out, and go to it. The sweat and the burn feel good. Nobody messes with me because they know I can't hear them. It is sometimes glorious!
However, today, I realized that is seems that EVERYONE around me is losing weight, except me. Maybe it is just the fact that I have been throwing myself a big ol' pity party all day....but I swear EVERYONE I see looks smaller. Even the other people I know that are taking phentermine (diet pill/crack) AND have been taking it a shorter amount of time are SMALLER! WTF?? It can be so damn discouraging!
Thanks goodness I have a Doctor's appointment on Monday. I may just need a new "happy pill". Or a life change. Or pack my shit and run away. Needless to say, the search for "happiness" was a bust today. Except for the part when XRGuy decided it would be fun to sneak right up behind me (and I mean RIGHT UP) and sniff me neck. And run his face across the back of my neck. Wow. That was AWESOME. Growing my hair out was SO worth it today...putting it up in a ponytail must make my neck look appealing....hallelujah!! I plan on wearing it up everyday now. Seriously. It was THAT awesome. I thingled inplaces I haven't tingled in a while. A long while.
That is all I have for today. I have already taken a Xanax so I would not kill GirlChild. Or Husband. Now I just want to sleep. That is my plan for now!
Let me know how the happy pills go. I am trying sooo hard not to go on any. I think I need them just to zone out. Seriously. Nothing more. I want to zone out. For the most part, I can't write about that type of stuff - but KNOW I feel your pain!
ReplyDeleteI have had happy pills for a longgggg time. I know I am a better person with them. I saw two people in my family NEED them and not get them. I didn't want to be like them. They cried all the time, very happy or very sad, depressed, and miserable. Happy pills can be your friend. They start in very low dosages, so don't be afraid to try them. I am on Cymbalta now and it is the best one so far (eventually you build a tolerance to some).
ReplyDelete